A Different Kind of Botanical Garden

image by Ann Halpin

I often have people ask me what they should do when they come to Phoenix. While there is a whole range of activities here, the one place I always recommend is the Desert Botanical Garden. This is not like any botanical garden you've been to or can imagine. There are no lush greenhouses or manicured lawns. This garden filled with cacti and succulents, with wildflowers and prairie grasses, a riparian area and an herb garden. 

Home to 4,000 species and 27,600 individual plants, you can see cacti and succulents from around the world and learn about them from the different stations around the garden. You will also glimpse the lizards, ground squirrels, rabbits, and birds that make the garden their home. 

But enough of dry stuff, what I love about the garden is that you feel like you are not in the middle of a major metropolitan area once you are in the garden. There is a sense of quiet and peace there, where you can wander the trails and gaze at the diverse plants or sit on a bench and just listen to the birds.

This is also one of my favorite places to take photographs. Here are some of my favorites. I will be honest and say I am not good with the names of plants or animals. This is something I have to work on. If you know, please let me know in the comments.

image by Ann Halpin

When the cacti bear their fruit, the birds feast. I was lucky one morning to see several different varieties of birds having their breakfast. You have to use a zoom lens to be able to get decent photos because they are skittish.

image by Ann Halpin

I love the variety of plants in the garden. This almost looks like a cabbage but it definitely is not one!

image by Ann Halpin

I've seen the spiny lizards a couple of times when I've been there, usually fairly early in the morning. They are hard to spot as they blend into the tree bark.

image by Ann Halpin

I used to volunteer at the Garden and one time, this little roadrunner decided to check out why I was just standing around on the path. He let me get fairly close to him to get some shots before he got spooked by some guests coming our way.

image by Ann Halpin

Remember, the Desert Botanical Garden is in the middle of the Phoenix metropolitan area. You would never guess that from this picture.

image by Ann Halpin

And finally, the Butterfly Pavilion. Twice yearly, the Butterfly Pavilion is open so you can walk through and learn about the different types of butterflies.

I realize that I posted more photos of the wildlife in the Garden then of the plants. You'll just have to visit to see those for yourself!  

8 Weeks

There are times when I am still in denial that Don is gone. I make excuses why we haven't spoken - we're both very busy, our schedules don't match, etc. And then I have to make myself admit that he is gone and this is my reality now.

I'm doing better these days. I don't burst into tears for no apparent reason, I'm sleeping and eating normally. But in some ways I am just going through the motions of life and not really participating. I feel numb inside. It's only when I am writing about him that the tears start flowing and the pain returns.

I've spent the past week thinking of the good times we had, the conversations, the car rides, the dinners. How he taught me some of his recipes from when he was a cook and how much he liked my cooking. I remember all the phone calls we had, the long conversations about sports and politics and family. I still can't hear his voice in my head but I am coming to terms with that.

One of the things that his death has done for me is to make me rethink my priorities and how I want to live my life. That means that some changes are coming for me. I'm still formulating my plans, but I want to live to the happiest, healthiest life I can. Losing Don taught me not to take anything for granted anymore. I need to pursue what makes me happy and gives me satisfaction. It will be a risk, but my family and friends know that I am a risk taker. I took a risk with Don and that changed my life. I think I can take another risk now and see where it leads me.

 “Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” 

— Helen Keller

Favorite Day in London

I still remember the first time I went to London. I wasn't particularly excited but I was going for work. This was my 7th trip to Europe, but before I was always on the continent in a non-English speaking country. I loved the challenge of being in countries where the language was different. I thought London, and England, was going to be too easy and not interesting.

I should have known better. I grew up watching Masterpiece Theater with all the BBC productions. I love British literature and devoured Austen, Dickens, Maugham, the Brontes, and many more. Walking down the street in London and looking up at the row houses, I could imagine that Sara, from A Little Princess, was in one of the attic rooms. Or coming upon Harley Street and finding there were still doctors' plaques by the front doors.  London is a city where I immediately felt at home.

In March, I finally made it back to London after a 16 year absence. After my first visit I had returned 6 more times, almost always for work. I was planning on going by myself this time, but as luck would have it, one of my oldest friends was able to meet me there in late March.

High Tea and Buckingham Palace

On this trip, my favorite day in London was the day we did High Tea at Fortnum & Mason, followed by an exclusive evening tour of the State Rooms at Buckingham Palace. If you are not familiar, Fortnum & Mason is a swanky London department store with an amazing food hall and wonderful tea room.  The Diamond Jubilee Tea Salon offers a variety of high tea options, including one that is gluten free! We didn't eat lunch and so dived into the scones and finger sandwiches. The gluten free scones were scrumptious, and even better with clotted cream and strawberry jam. The only thing I wasn't such a fan of were their gluten free pastries as most were too sweet. My friend had a savory high tea and that looked wonderful as well. They kept bringing us more of whatever we wanted until we were full. It was our lunch and dinner and we probably ate enough calories to cover both.

image by Ann Halpin

After we finished our high tea, we walked to Buckingham Palace. Even if you are not a fan of royalty, the State Rooms are definitely worth a visit! Our tour took place at 6pm, with only 30 people total. Normally the tours are much larger. Our main guide had been at the Palace for years and was able to give detailed information about the rooms and the art, along with fun anecdotes. We were not allowed to take photographs, so unfortunately I don't have any to share of the inside but here's a photo of the palace from my last morning in London.

image by Ann Halpin

Every detail in the State Rooms was beautiful. The works of art, the plasterwork, the furniture, everything was stunning. I walked through the rooms and galleries holding my hands behind my back. I wanted to touch everything to experience it and of course that was not allowed! If you happen to be in London in September, they are doing these evening tours throughout the month (weekdays as well as weekends). It's not cheap (£80 per person), but it was well worth it.

In another blog post, I will provide some suggestions of what to do and see in London.

Learning From a Recovering Addict

I want to start by saying that anything I write here about Don are things he was open about with others, not just me. I would never betray a confidence, but Don's experiences and what I learned from them could help others.

Don was a recovering drug addict and alcoholic. He suffered from this disease most of his life. When I met him, he had been sober almost 12 months. This was not the first time he was sober, but he was determined this would be it for him. He always told me that if he relapsed, it would be a quick downhill slide and he hoped it would kill him because he did not want to live that way again. 

As I wrote in First Date, Don told me about his addicition and recovery on our first bike ride together. He wanted me to know so I could make the decision whether to pursue the relationship or not. I was so naive I really didn't understand all the ramifications and Don knew that. About a month later, Don brought over his Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book for me to read. In the front of it, he had written his name and "sober since 6-10-2009 @ 15:30". This was the book he got at his first AA meeting when he hit rock bottom and decided to change his life. I still have the book as he would not take it back. It is one of my most prized possessions. 

I read the book. I reread it. I started to slowly understand what addiction looks like and how it affects people. I recognized myself in some of these stories and how I used food instead of alcohol to medicate myself. We talked about it and he encouraged me to go to Overeaters Anonymous to work on my food addiction. Even though I had lost 92 pounds before I met Don, I still had an unhealthy relationship with food. Attending OA meetings and going through the steps helped me.  But I also came to realize that I would never truly understand what it was like to be in his situation.

He asked me to never drink around him. That was an easy promise to make as I rarely drink in any case, and even less after knowing Don. He also made me promise that if I ever saw him with an alcoholic drink, I had to immediately kick him out of my life and not give him another chance as he would lie, cheat and steal from me to get a fix. I promised but never thought I would need to do that and I never did.

Don didn't set much store by his actual birthday, which is coming up in early August. To him, his real birthday was the day he got clean, June 10. As he said, it was the day he got his life got his life back. I always gave him his birthday present on that day. My favorite gift for him was an experience, whether a dinner at a nice restaurant, a massage certificate, or money towards the purchase of a concert ticket. This year would have been his 8th anniversary. 

Don worked hard to make amends for the things he did and people he hurt while he was using. He took on that burden willingly and worked hard to repair relationships and earn forgiveness. I honor him and you who have managed to get sober, stay sober and rebuild your lives.

Work-Life Balance

One of my biggest challenges is balance. I'm talking about work-life balance. For most of my working life, I have been all about the work. My whole identity was wrapped up in what I did rather than who I was or how I lived.

Seven years ago, I decided that I was going to add more dimension to my life, to balance work and personal life. I decided to put myself higher on my priority list and finally take care of myself. I quit a job that was incredibly stressful, depleted my savings and took 9 months off work. I wasn't planning on taking that much time off, but this was 2010 and jobs were scarce.

During those months off, I detoxed from my workaholic life, met Don and fell in love, spent a lot of time working out at the gym, bought a cute beach cruiser and rode it everywhere, cooked a lot and discovered a new love for it. I went through all my possessions and purged what I didn't need or use. I learned to relax and not feel guilty about it.

I realized during my time off that I needed to change careers. My former profession in international education/study abroad consumed me, seven days a week. I found myself a job in the travel industry, working in a call center where I booked cruises and land tours. It was stressful because I am a perfectionist and this was a new field with a big learning curve. But I had set hours and wasn't allowed to work beyond those hours. That structure allowed me a better balance in my life.

After 5 years, the call center life palled. I was working from home with a good schedule, had mastered the job and was making pretty good money. But I was bored. I realized that while having work-life balance was very important, so was job satisfaction. I was offered a chance to work in a very small concierge travel agency and jumped at the chance. It meant going back to work in an office, moving 20 miles north to avoid a huge commute, and a slight but continual deterioration of the line between work and private life.

I am still fighting to keep a balance. I try not to work too much after my regular work day, although sometimes it is unavoidable. I told my new boss in our initial discussion that I needed to have that balance and she agreed and has been supportive and respectful of that. She has realized what I discovered about myself and is true for most people - I am much more effective at work when I have time away from it.

Maintaining a balance will always be a struggle for me, but I refuse to go back to where I was. If you are facing this issue as well, I found a good article with some great tips: 5 Secrets to Achieving Work-Life Balance. It's a lot of common sense advice, but sometimes we need someone else to remind us.

Reading Labels

Reading labels. It's what I do whenever I go to the grocery store. I don't care as much about calorie count, fat, etc. What I care about are the ingredients. Why? Because I have multiple food allergies/sensitivities, have always had them, and have added to them over the years.

I grew up in a family where I was the only one with food allergies. But I was lucky. My mom made sure I never felt different. When I was a child I didn't know French toast was made with eggs. I didn't realize I got special French toast made with milk, vanilla, and cinnamon. Not knowing is not always good though. I spent the night at a friend's house and her parents took us out for breakfast. In my ignorance I ordered French toast and promptly got sick.

Having food allergies and sensitivities means always being vigilant. I am sure servers get annoyed when I want to know what ingredients aren't listed on the menu but are in a dish. I've learned from experience that not all ingredients are always listed. I've learned to tell a server upfront about my dietary restrictions and ask them to check with the kitchen about what is safe for me to eat.

image by Ann Halpin

So what can't I eat?  I'm allergic to wheat, onions, raw tomatoes, with a high intolerance to eggs. Before you say, poor thing, I will tell you that I feel that I am fortunate to just be allergic/sensitivities to four. I've met people who have a whole laundry list of forbidden foods. And, although I find traveling sometimes challenging with these, I always find things to eat and new restaurants to try.

I've never been able to eat eggs or onions, so no, I don't know what I'm missing. The taste of an onion to me is so vile that I don't wish I could eat them. What I do miss are tomatoes, my most recent food allergy. While there are now many excellent gluten free options, there is no substitute for a perfectly ripe, juicy tomato picked fresh from the vine. Growing up in Ohio, in the summertime sometimes we would just eat fresh corn and tomatoes for dinner. No more insalata caprese or tomato juice.  

In this blog I'll be sharing some tips for cooking, eating out, and traveling with food allergies, as well as what I consider to the best gluten free products. If you have food allergies, I would love to hear your tips and suggestions as well as your favorite products.

My Italy

Italy.  A favorite destination for so many Americans. I remember my visits as a child, staying in a pensione on the island of Capri, trying goat at the house of one of my father's colleagues in Naples, or staying in an apartment in Genoa where I would go to the local grocer to get these beautiful big lemons that tasted so good that I would just eat them like an orange.

I have a deep connection with the country. In many ways it is my second home. I have been there more times than I can count, but not often as a tourist. Although I do not have one drop of Italian blood in me, I am part of a family there.

I was fortunate that my parents allowed me to do a high school exchange program for a year and I was, coincidentally, sent to Italy. I went to a small town in the north called Turate, located just outside of Saronno. You've probably heard of Saronno because of Amaretto di Saronno. It's located halfway between Milan and Como. I lived in Turate and went to high school, the Liceo Scientifico Giovanbattista Grassi in Saronno, for a year.

My host family - la mamma, Nicoletta and Corrado - was the best family I could have asked for. They helped me learn the language, included me in everything, helped me adjust to the culture, and just loved me as I loved them. La mamma taught me how to make risotto and minestra, Nicoletta helped me with my language skills and let me hang out with her and her friends, and Corrado made fun of me and teased me as any good younger brother does.

image by Ann Halpin

Even more, I was welcomed into their extended family, so all of a sudden I had so many cousins, aunts and uncles that all lived close by. While I have many cousins, aunts and uncles here in the US, we didn't live near them and didn't see them as much. I remember my cousins, Marco, Sergio and Luca taught me numbers, shapes, and colors while playing cards.

Then there were my classmates. I was put in the science high school, which totally terrified me. Although my father is a brilliant scientist and engineer, I did not inherit any of that talent. But, my classmates made that year so wonderful. And thanks to Facebook, I have reconnected with them and see them when I go back to visit.  

So, you can see that when I go to Italy, I rarely go as a tourist. I go to visit family and friends. I know most people go to Italy to see Rome, Florence, and Venice.  While those cities are beautiful and are a definite must-do when you go, there are many more places to visit that are beautiful.  It's getting time for me to return for another visit.  Hopefully next year!

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Meet my Cats: Davey

image by Ann Halpin

Davey is my special cat. He's the oldest (by one month) and very much the alpha cat in the family, all while dealing with physical issues.

I met Davey at the Arizona Animal Welfare League when he shared a cage with Poppei in the infirmary.  Davey, or Dave at that time, was a very chill cat. The shelter vet named him Dave after Dave Matthews, her favorite singer. Since Poppei was always getting sick and wasn't available for adoption, I took Davey home with me.

Because it had been a banner kitten season, the kittens at the shelter had been put in cages so no one noticed that Davey had a bad limp. I noticed when I got him home. I took him to my vet and after x-rays, exams and a visit to the orthopedic veterinarian, we opted to amputate the leg. Davey had a genetic deformity, with his kneecap on the side of his leg instead of where it should have been. He was in constant pain and I even had to give him buprenorphine (opiod medication). I would have to go to the vet office and sign a form before they would dispense it.  They would only give 3-4 doses at a time since it was a controlled substance.

The decision to amputate the leg was very difficult for me. I anguished about it, wasn't sure how he would look or feel, or how I would feel about him once he had lost that leg. It really was fear of the unknown. The vet kept telling me it was no big deal and that Davey would be much happier and adjust very quickly without his leg.

image by Ann Halpin

He was right. Davey sailed through the surgery and was trying to climb 3 days later. I also adjusted better than I thought I would. Davey had other challenges. He has mild entropion, a condition in which the eyelids go inward rather than out. I had to take him to the veterinary ophthamologist but luckily she said she didn't think surgery was warranted. He also has allergies that affect his eyes and nose, as well as mild alopecia.

Davey is loud, insistent and bossy. He's also the most cuddly of my cats, loves for me to pick him up and hold him. He will demand that I put him on my lap and then will fall asleep, sometimes for hours. He's going grey and looks older than Poppei. I just tell him he looks distinguished.

A bit of advice if you are considering adopting a three legged (tri-pawed) animal. Don't be afraid! They get around just fine with only 3 legs, are a lot of fun, and very appreciative that you chose them. While Davey had 4 legs when I adopted him, I would not hesitate to bring home a tri-pawed animal now!
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Six Weeks On

image by Ann Halpin

In a couple of days it will be six weeks since Don passed. It feels like it's been years and only yesterday. I have had good days and really bad ones. I've been told I will continue to have good and bad days, but eventually the good ones will outnumber the bad.

I haven't been able to hear his voice in my mind.  I keep trying, but I can't hear him.  It's the thing that hurts the most.  I don't have a voicemail message from him, I don't have any videos of him talking.  I can see his face, his smile, but that's not enough for me.

Last night I scrolled through our texts and read through the everyday messages we sent each other, how our days went, frustrations, him bragging on his daughter, photos from the concerts he attended. But when I saw the last message I sent him, not knowing he was already gone, to ask him if he was okay because his voicemail was full, I broke down.

Life does go on. Don would want me to go on and be happy. He was my biggest supporter and advisor. Last week was very difficult for me and it was made even more so because I didn't have Don to talk to me and give me his objective advice. I didn't have him to laugh at me and give me a reality check. I'm grateful my sister has stepped into that role and seems to know when I need her the most.

I've always been a very independent person and have rarely felt lonely when I am by myself.  These past weeks I have felt a lonliness I have never felt before.  Don and I didn't live together and in the last six months only saw each other twice.  We had a major fight in late December and didn't even speak for a month.  During that time I didn't feel the loneliness I feel now.  I think it's because then I still knew he was there, I still knew I could talk with him if I wanted to.  I am so glad we made up and got our friendship back and were making plans for the future.

But for now, I will take it one day at a time, just like Don did with his recovery. I keep turning to this quote that a good friend shared with me that really describes Don.

“The most beautiful people I’ve known are those who have known trials, have known struggles, have known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.”

Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

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My Father's Garden

My father is an amazing gardener. When I lived in Dayton, I would go over every weekend and be his helper. He enjoyed ordering me around, having me pull weeds or plant flat after flat of impatiens to fill in the gaps between the perennials. I remember one year planting a bushel of caladium bulbs. Do you know many bulbs that is? It's a lot!

For his birthday last year, I made a coffee table book of photographs of his garden. I mean, what do you give someone who can afford to buy anything he wants? I was in Ohio late July last year and took a series of photos and then created the book on Shutterfly. I was so worried the book would not turn out as beautifully as it did. I wish I could have made a copy for myself, but I know when I go to visit this Christmas I'll be able to look through it again.

I'm not into crafts, never mastered sewing, I can't draw or paint, but I can take photographs.  I have what they call a bridge camera - it's a glorified point and shoot digital camera with a great zoom lens. I can't change lenses but then, I don't really need to. I just like taking photos for my own amusement and if I had to worry about changing lenses and all the other things, I probably wouldn't enjoy it as much.

I want to share some of my favorite photos that I took of my dad's garden. There are too many to post today, so you'll probably see another post later on with some more.

image by Ann Halpin

Don't ask me the names of the flowers and plants. While I know some of them, I can't remember all of them. I don't worry about it, I just enjoy the beauty of the plants.

image by Ann Halpin

Living in the desert, it's not any surprise that when I go someplace where it rains a lot, I love going out in it. While I was in Ohio last summer, we had some good rains so I took advantage of that in my photos.

image by Ann Halpin

image by Ann Halpin

And then, of course, there were the birds. There were many different types birds helping themselves to the feeders. I had to stay back quite a distance to see them, but I did get one good shot of a female cardinal with a seed in her beak.

image by Ann Halpin

You don't need a big camera to take great photos.  Cell phones do a great job too.  I took the picture below with my iPhone.  Of course, Leo the cat looks amazing among the ferns regardless of what type of camera you use!

image by Ann Halpin

Go out and take some photos of nature to capture the beauty in the world.

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Meet my Cats: Jazz

image by Ann Halpin

If there is one word to describe Jazz, that would be attitude. You can tell by the photo above that this is a cat with plenty of it. He's the baby of the family, having joined us after the loss of my female cat, Precious.

I took Jazz in when a former co-worker needed to re-home him. She had adopted a dog and the two did not get along. She chose to keep the dog and find Jazz a new home. Knowing that I had recently lost my girl, she broached the idea and I agreed to meet him. I knew once I met him I was lost.  I had to take him home with me.

Jazz was not as happy to be in his new home. We had a rocky start since he wanted to be an only cat. However, as I kept explaining to him, Davey and Poppei were here first and he had to adjust or I would have to find him a new home.

I had to keep the cats separate for more than a month because relations were so tense. At one point, I gave Jazz to a neighbor because she wanted a cat. However, 2 days later, he was back with me. He decided to behave and adjust to his new environment.

image by Ann Halpin

Jazz is feisty, fun, very strong willed, and loves to play.  He's a social eater - he often demands that I sit and watch him eat.  Silly cat!  He hates being picked up and is not super affectionate, but likes to be near people.  However, if you try to pet or scratch him and he's not in the mood, beware!  

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Meet my Cats: Poppei

image by Ann Halpin

Poppei is my "middle child," the gentle giant of my group.  He's the biggest of the three, hefty, but also shy and skittish.  And when he meows, I always say he's the Aaron Neville of cats. A big guy with a soft voice.

I met Poppei at Arizona Animal Welfare League (AAWL) when I was a volunteer there.  I met him when he was a scared little butterball of a kitten in the infirmary at the Arizona Animal Welfare League, shortly after I started volunteering there. He was trying to hide in the back of his cage while recovering from an upper respiratory illness (URI). He didn't respond to the overtures of anyone up to that point. But with patience and attention, I got him to come to the front of his cage and he even let me pet him. We bonded at that time but he was always getting URIs (he has mild herpes and whenever he would get really stressed he developed URIs) so I couldn't adopt him. I fell in love with another kitty (Davey) and adopted him instead.

Poppei never adapted to life in the cattery at the shelter and was always hiding from people and getting stressed and landing back in the infirmary. Finally the foster manager (who had also rescued Poppei from the streets) suggested I adopt him. I already had two cats at home and didn't think I could take a third. But she kept telling me I could and so I did. It was a lifesaver for him and one of the best decisions I ever made.

image by Ann Halpin

Most people who come over to my home will never see Pops as he is still very leery of people. (It's a shame because he is absolutely beautiful) But with me, he is a demanding, loving cat who loves tummy rubs and head butts. Although I love all my cats, Poppei holds a special place in my heart because he really did choose me as his one and only. 

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Dreaming of Alaskan Glaciers

I love the desert and much prefer being hot to cold.  However, there comes a time almost every summer when I start dreaming of someplace cold.  I don't want to live there, I just want to go and be cold for awhile.

Two years ago I went to Alaska with one of my best friends.  We did a Princess cruise from Whittier (Anchorage) down to Vancouver.  I had a free cabin from Princess' travel agent academy and my friend paid the upgrade so we could have a balcony.  I went from 105 degrees in Phoenix to 50-60 degree high temps on the cruise!

I fell in love with glaciers on this trip.  While we didn't have a lot of sunshine, the cloudy skies provided us with more depth of colors while cruising the glaciers.  Our itinerary took us first to Hubbard Glacier and then to Glacier Bay National Park.

Hubbard Glacier

Hubbard Glacier is North America's largest tidewater glacier.  It is 76 miles long, 7 miles wide and and 600 feet tall.  You only are seeing 350 feet of it as the rest is below water.

image by Ann Halpin

Glacier Bay National Park

My favorite glacier in Glacier Bay is the Marjorie Glacier (below). It is 21 miles long, 1 mile wide, and 350 feet deep (250 feet is above water). We saw a fishing boat in front of the glacier and it looked like a toy.  It really put the glacier's size into perspective. Later we saw some kayakers from an Uncruise ship, paddling along side the glacier. I had to use my zoom lens to get a look at them. That must have been an incredible experience, being that close to the glacier.

image by Ann Halpin

image by Ann Halpin

Mendenhall Glacier

While we were in Juneau, we did an excursion that took us whale watching and then on a nature walk down to Lake Mendenhall, directly across from Mendenhall Glacier.  Most people just go to the Visitors Center to view the glacier from there, but there is something really cool seeing it from across the way and not from above.

image by Ann Halpin

image by Ann Halpin

image by Ann Halpin

Of course, glaciers weren't the only marvels in Alaska.  I'll share my photos of the flora and fauna in another post.

Cruising Alaska

If you are looking for an Alaska cruise, there are 3 basic itineraries:  roundtrip out of Seattle or Vancouver, or a north/south cruise between Vancouver and Anchorage (porting in either Seward or Whittier).  If you can, do either the roundtrip out of Vancouver or a north/south cruise.  The cruises out of Seattle, while more convenient, spend more time at sea and less time in port.  Believe me, this is one cruise where you want more time where you can see things!

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First Date

I met Don when I would go into the Circle K close to where I lived in Tempe. I noticed him right away because of how he looked at me with those intense blue eyes. I was unemployed at the time, having quit a very toxic job and was contemplating a career change. To get out of the house, I would walk to the Circle K to get a soda or a banana.

Image by Ann Halpin

We started talking some, me shying away from too much interaction. I had never been very confident around men who paid attention to me. But, he persisted in talking with me and I made excuses to go there just so I could see him. There was almost visible electricity between us and others noticed. He told me about his bike when I told him I was thinking about buying one. He even took me into the back room to see it (I wasn't supposed to be back there).  

When I finally bought my bike, I went to the store to tell him and he asked me if I wanted to go riding together sometime. I hesitated and he backed off, but then I said yes, that would be fun. We set up a time, early in the morning (around 6am) after he got off work from the overnight shift on May 25, 2010. That day has been imprinted in my memory.  

I went out and purchased a new outfit for our ride, such a girly thing to do. I wore a pair of capri jeans, a red tank top and a white hoody sweater that zipped up the front and had flowers painted around the zipper.  And, of course, my white bike helmet. Don showed up in his Circle K shirt and cargo shorts. And, of course, no helmet. We met at the start of the bike path at Kiwanis Park.

As we pedaled, we asked each other questions - music, movies, politics, and more - to find out what we had in common. We talked about where we grew up, our families.  After we turned around to ride back, Don proceeded to tell me about his past with addiction and his recovery. He wanted to be upfront with me about his past and his struggles. Never having done drugs in my life, I did not fully understand the implications of what he was telling me. I didn't understand at the time the internal struggles he went through and the demons that ate at his psyche. I told him I had tried pot once but couldn't inhale (I can't even inhale Advair enough to get it into my lungs) and I didn't really like alcohol.  

When we got back to our starting point, he reached out his hand to shake mine and said we should do this again. I agreed but said I was going out of town that weekend to a conference in Kansas City. He gave me his phone number for me to call him if I wanted to do something social with him again.  

Our handshake told me that I would be calling him. He made me so nervous, but not in a scary bad way. This was in an excited scary way. I had never felt that way before when I touched someone. And even after 7 years, the last time we were together, I felt the same way when I touched him. That connection, that electricity between us, never faded.  

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Grand Canyon

Image by Ann Halpin

My sister came to Arizona last month to be with me during the first couple of weeks after Don died to help me through the grieving process. Before she left, I took her on a one-day tour of the Grand Canyon. We signed up with Detours of the West and off we went with 6 other people and a guide.

Image by Ann Halpin

Our first stop was Sedona, where they dropped us off in uptown (aka, tourist area). While Sedona is know for its beautiful red rocks, I am not a fan of the tourist area of town. I was very glad to leave it to drive through Oak Creek Canyon. This is a spectacular drive along Oak Creek with the abundance of trees and foliage. You could almost imagine yourself in a different state. That is one of the beauties of Arizona.  As you get into the high country, the plants and trees change and temperature decreases.

This was my third visit to the Grand Canyon and my sister's first. The Grand Canyon is awe-inspiring and so vast that it is difficult to truly comprehend its width and depth. There is a peace that settles on you as you drink in the beauty of the formations and the stark cliffs of the canyon. The layers of sedimentary rock give definition to the walls with different hues of red and brown.

Image by Ann Halpin

Those warm earth tones and vastness of the canyon brought peace to me as I stood there gazing at it. It reminded me that there is much beauty and wonder in this world. Don and I once took a quick trip up to Page in northern Arizona to do a delivery and we both marveled at the sunrise over the barren rocks and desert scrub. The dry, rocky Arizona landscape offers a sense of wonder and peace.

On my sister's next visit, we're heading back to the Grand Canyon but for an overnight stay. I want her to see the Canyon at sunset, as the colors softly change as night approaches. And to see it at sunrise, when the Canyon walls slowly move from shadow to brilliant bright colors.

If you have not been to the Grand Canyon, I urge you to consider a trip. Come in the spring or fall, when there aren't as many tourists and you can more easily secure lodging in the park, along the rim. Or in winter, when the air is cold and crisp and there may be snow to provide a different view. If you don't want to do the drive yourself, there are several excellent tour companies that offer 1-2 day Grand Canyon tours from Phoenix and Las Vegas.  I used Detours of the West and they were excellent.

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McDowell Sonoran Preserve Trails

A couple of weeks ago, before it got hot (anything under 100 is not hot to an Arizonan), my sister and I took a hike in the McDowell Sonoran Preserve.  We hiked the Gateway Loop trail on a late Sunday afternoon.  It's remarkable to still be in the Phoenix Metropolitan area but feel like you are out in the desert, away from civilization.  I wanted to share some of the photos I took of the hike.

image by Ann Halpin

image by Ann Halpin

image by Ann Halpin

image by Ann Halpin

image by Ann Halpin

image by Ann Halpin

The McDowell Sonoran Preserve is located off Thompson Peak Parkway in North Scottsdale. There are a variety of trails in the preserve so go check them out!  And of course, always make sure to carry water with you!

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Cats

Cats have always been a big part of my life. When I was a child, an orange tabby adopted our family during a blizzard and my mom named it Lawrence. When the cat had kittens in the closet, she became Mrs. Lawrence. After all, we were an Irish Catholic family and couldn't have an unwed mother in the house. She was with us for 13 years and to this day is a legend in our family.

image by Ann Halpin

Everyone in my family has had at least one cat. I currently have three males - Davey, Poppei, and Jazz. You'll be meeting each of them in later posts, but I have to say my life is never dull with these guys around. They are spoiled and loved and know they can twist me around their paws.  

I love cats because they are independent, curious, impudent, loving, needy, and demanding. I love the complexity of cats, never knowing what they think of us or what they are planning to do, their disapproving stare and the orders they issue when they want something. Dogs are wonderful too, but there is nothing like a cat!

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