Three Months

Life has gotten in the way of my writing this month. I had a bit of writer's block after my last post, went to Denver to celebrate my mother's birthday (more on that in my next post), and have been slammed at work. But it's time to get back to writing.

Part of my issue this month has been missing Don, thinking about him on his birthday, anticipating the start of college football season, and dreading the three month anniversary of his passing (August 29).

Two weeks ago, after I finished watching my favorite summer show, So You Think You Can Dance, I turned off the TV and thought, I can't go to bed yet because Don might call. That thought came out of the blue and hit me hard. I just sat and cried. I pulled out the University of Alabama t-shirt he had left here and put it on to feel closer to him as I cried. I haven't told anyone about this because it hurt so much.

Two nights later I was in Denver with my mom. That made me feel so much better, but after I went to bed that night, once again I was waiting for Don's call. He always watched my cats for me when I traveled and called me at night. This time my wonderful friend Patrice was watching my cats and I knew he wasn't going to call, but there I was expecting it.

I've started talking to Don as I am preparing for bed, telling him about my day and how much I miss him. I told him I'm not sure I will be able to watch his team play in the season opener, but that I would try. I'm glad I can talk to him now, even though I know he's not here.

Tonight and tomorrow I'll be thinking of Don, of the good times and bad, how how we overcame so many obstacles in our relationship. I know all of us who valued and loved Don will be thinking about him and that gives me comfort too.

I promise my next few posts will be fun and upbeat but I'm just not feeling it tonight.